Most people can list twenty things they value. Core values are the few that matter most when two good things compete. In this lesson, you’ll narrow your list to five core values and define each one in your own words.
Three ways to surface your real values
1. Peak moments. Recall two or three times you felt proud, fulfilled or fully yourself. Ask: What value was I honouring? A moment when you stood up for a colleague might point to fairness or courage.
2. Low moments. Recall times you felt angry, ashamed or deeply frustrated. Ask: What value was being violated? Anger at being micromanaged might point to autonomy or trust.
3. Non-negotiables. Ask: What would I refuse to give up, even if it cost me? The answers often reveal your deepest values.
Add any values that come up here to the list from Lesson 2.1.
Narrowing to five
Now group similar values together. Honesty, integrity and authenticity might belong to one cluster; adventure, freedom and variety to another. Name each cluster with the word that feels most like you.
If you still have more than five, compare them in pairs: If I could only honour one of these two for the next year, which would I choose? It’s uncomfortable, and that’s the point. Core values are the ones that win those comparisons.
Define them in your own words
A single word means different things to different people. Success might mean financial security to one person and creative freedom to another. For each of your five values, write:
- What it means to me: one sentence.
- What it looks like when I’m living it: two or three concrete behaviours.
- What it looks like when I’m not: the warning signs.
For example: Growth: I keep learning and stretching, even when it’s uncomfortable. Living it: I read, take on challenges, ask for feedback. Not living it: I avoid anything new and feel bored and restless.
Try this: your top five
Complete the Core Values worksheet in your workbook. When you’re done, write your five values next to your purpose statement. Together, they form the foundation for everything else in this course.
Workbook: complete Worksheet 5, “My Five Core Values”, in your Personal Transformation workbook.