Almost every achievement involves other people: someone who teaches you, recommends you, buys from you, works with you or encourages you. Relationships aren’t a shortcut around effort, but they make effort go further.
Give first
The strongest professional and personal relationships are built on generosity, not on what you can get. Look for small ways to help: share a useful article, make an introduction, offer genuine thanks, give credit publicly. Over time, people remember who helped them.
Build relationships before you need them
Reaching out only when you want something feels transactional. Keep in touch regularly and lightly: a quick message when you see something they’d find useful, congratulations on their news, a coffee every few months.
Map your support network
It helps to know who is around you. Think about:
- Mentors: people further along who can share experience.
- Peers: people at a similar stage who can share the journey.
- Connectors: people who know lots of others and enjoy introducing them.
- Supporters: friends and family who encourage you.
Gaps in the map show you where to invest.
Asking for help is a skill
Many people struggle alone because asking feels like weakness. In practice, most people are glad to help when the request is clear and respectful. A good request:
- Is specific: “Could you spend 20 minutes reviewing my CV?” rather than “Can you help me with my career?”
- Explains why you chose them: “You’ve made a similar move.”
- Makes it easy to say no: “No worries if you’re busy.”
- Is followed by thanks and an update on what you did with their help.
Try this: your relationship map
Draw four boxes: mentors, peers, connectors, supporters. Write names in each. Choose one person to reconnect with this week by giving something useful, and one specific request for help you’ll make in the next two weeks.
Workbook: complete Worksheet 8, “My Relationship Map”, in your Success Principles workbook.